I think it’s a pretty natural thing after being single for three years to think to yourself “what are the qualities I’d look for in a new guy in my life?” Of course there’s the obvious…kind, good person, family oriented, has to LOVE my kids. But then there are some fun, frivolous qualities that come to mind…it is my fantasy!?
So…here goes! It would be great if he likes watching football, LOVES the adventure of traveling, reading the Sunday paper together and the interesting conversations & banter that go along with that….and chivalry. I’ve never really been one for chivalry, but I’ve been watching a couple of newlywed friends my age and my brother-in-law with their spouses and I’ve become a fan! It’s no surprise that I’m pretty independent and I can just hear myself saying in my head, “I can open my own door” or “I can carry my own bags.” The lack of chivalry in my marriage was my own doing….but this is my “fantasy” guy, so I can change that and hopefully change myself in the process. Isn’t that what adjusting the sails is all about…making choices to change when it’s needed. It’s okay to let someone do something nice, even if it’s just holding a door open now and then. I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now!! I know I can’t change my independent spirit, nor would I want to, but that doesn’t mean I can’t embrace these small gestures that make one feel taken care of and allow you to rely on someone else. It’s the little things, right?
Okay…so it may be a stretch to find someone who’s chivalrous in this day and age (..and it wouldn’t be a deal breaker), but a girl can dream, can’t she??
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Good post today Jeanine; I like that, too. Chivalry from a man doesn’t diminish a woman’s independence, rather it shows that there is a good man who respects her and other people. Chivalry is simply being considerate and respectful. I’m sorry to have taken a modern day chivalrous man off the market, but I couldn’t resist his charm. I hope you find one, too if that’s what you want. You deserve it.
My main advice to 3 sons regarding how to impress a girl: “You can’t underestimate the power of politeness- it will be memorable a lot longer than anything you say.”