“What if you wake up some day, and your 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big, comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen!”….Anne Lamott
Motivational Monday…Thanks
Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts… Henri Frederic Amiel
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…Life
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…Life is an Echo
Life is an echo.
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others, exists in you.
Do not judge, so you will not be judged.
Radiate and give love and love will come back to you...Zig Ziglar
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Living Alone?….Create Your Own Community
I had just finished listening to an E-book, Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes, (I’d recommend) when this quote popped up on my Instagram account (thank you Hoda Kotb!). It reminded me…#1 I LOVE reading and all the thought provoking experiences & inner journeys that books take me on…and #2 I had started writing a blog post awhile ago about isolation, loneliness and a sense of community.
There was a really interesting and thought provoking article in the NY Times back in November 2018 titled “How Loneliness Is Tearing America Apart” . Just the other day I heard Dr. Oz say that we have an epidemic of loneliness right now and it reminded me that I wanted to weigh in on the topic. At the end of the NYT article, the author says, “And there lies the challenge to each of us in a country suffering from loneliness and ripped apart by political opportunists seeking to capitalize on that isolation. Each of us can be happier, and America will start to heal, when we become the kind neighbors and generous friends we wish we had.”He references the divisive state of our political agendas and how it can cultivate a negative, extremist, sense of belonging in someone who might not otherwise feel engaged with society. They sit in their room, by themselves, on a computer and find some sense of community in a scary group of like-minded isolated people in a radical chat room somewhere. That, in and of itself, is sad and an obvious negative effect of not feeling a sense of belonging in society.
I’ve lived alone, quite unexpectedly, for almost 8 years now and I can honestly say that I’m rarely lonely. I thought I’d revisit a few positive ideas on how to change things in one’s life to feel less lonely and isolated.
If you live alone, and as with everything in life, you have a choice! You have a choice whether to be lonely or create the community you desire. Don’t wait for someone else to create your community & social life. It’s up to you! Sure, it takes a bit of effort, but you’ll be rewarded many times over. Invite people over, have your own pizza Monday, or soup Sunday. Join clubs, join an exercise class, start a book club, check out meetup.com to find groups that you might like to join, or just pick up the phone and see if a friend wants to go for a walk, coffee, or out for happy hour. You can also reconnect with old friends through Facebook or Instagram. You’d be surprised how you can rekindle an old friendship just by reaching out. It’s also helpful to get comfortable with doing things by yourself. Use your new found status as an opportunity to try new things….like dining alone.
Okay, the first couple of times I went out to a restaurant by myself was bit weird & uncomfortable, but when it was over I felt a sense of accomplishment for facing that fear. Now, I like going to restaurants alone (but it’s always more fun with a friend)! I usually bring a book or magazine so I don’t feel awkward, or feel like I have to look at my phone to occupy myself. The people watching is fabulous behind the guise of reading a book. Many times I’ve end up chatting with someone at the next table, or barstool, who might also be alone. It doesn’t cost anything to reach out and say “hi!” and the conversation can be very interesting.
I lived in the greatest, close-knit neighborhood where my kids grew up. As young families, we we did everything together and were always out and about. There are now a fun new group of young families that have moved in and creating their own group. I know and loved the feeling of having neighbors that are always there for me, but it could sometimes be isolating as a single person in a suburban location. I’ve moved back to a small beach community, mostly because I can go out of my house at any time of day & there will be people around (I did it just the other night!) It’s an added bonus that my sister lives so close now and many of my friends have moved to the beach too. I don’t need to have them all over, but it’s comforting to know they’re there….just like it was comforting knowing my old neighbors were there if I needed them…and I still see them quite often too.
As I/we get older it’s important not to feel isolated. A sense of community is important. My friend, Darci, said her dad told her, “Keep your girlfriends!” Wise advice! Cultivate friendships…they will rejoice with you in the happy times and comfort you through death, divorce and heartache. I don’t know what I’d do without my friends and family. Well…I guess I’d be lonely…and that’s not a good thing!
Happy Halloween!!
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…You are Enough
You can’t have what you don’t believe you deserve.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!!
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…Set a Goal!
Forget what’s gone
Appreciate what still remains
and look forward to what’s coming next!
A Challenge for you…..
Set a goal for 90 days from now and write it down. It doesn’t have to be big….clean out your closets??, lose 5 lbs, etc…something you’ve been meaning to do….but 90 days (which is January 19, 2020) is going to arrive, whether you write it down or not, so why not set a goal and intentionally make it happen! Put a star on January 19th and celebrate your accomplishment!
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…Destiny
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved!…
William Jennings Bryan
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be…..Ralph Waldo Emerson
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Searching in Seattle…lighthouses
You’re saying to yourself, “Another post about lighthouses!!??” Sorry, can’t get enough of them…and this was a quick 48 hour trip up to Seattle! A few months back I received an email from the U.S. Lighthouse Society, of which I am a member, announcing three unique, on the water, opportunities to celebrate their 35th anniversary. Of the three that were offered, the one that fit my schedule was in beautiful Puget Sound, visiting eight to nine lighthouses on a fast catamaran, with a buffet dinner included. I signed up and asked my two travel buddies, Val & Jan, if they’d be interested in joining me. They both immediately said yes and the planning began.
We landed in Seattle on Friday, mid-day, and after dropping off our bags, headed out to the historic Pike’s Place Market, opened in August 17, 1907, and one of the oldest continuously operated public farmers’ markets in the United States. It’s a total touristy spot, including the original Starbucks store, but you gotta go! Although known for their fish throwers, I remember that area being much bigger than it is now, but the flower markets are spectacular. You can get a HUGE bouquet for $20…what a bargain!
We stopped for a glass of wine at Lowell’s, in the market with a view of Puget Sound, and then moved down the street to Aerlume, for their happy hour. It’s a cool new place that opened in Dec. 2018 with stunning views of the water. Their happy hour isn’t just small plates, but nice sized portions. We split the burger and fries, which were delish, and the brussel sprouts may be the best I’ve ever had!
It was still light out, so we walked through the Olympic Sculpture Park and watched the gorgeous sunset over Puget Sound, with a lovely northwest cloud show!
We got up early Saturday and caught the 7:55 ferry over to Bainbridge Island.
It’s a quaint island, where Fall was in full swing! We enjoyed breakfast at the yummy, retro, Streamliner Diner , went to the farmer’s market and strolled through the shops on the main drag. Here are a few pics of our sojourn on Bainbridge.
Next time we’d rent bikes or a car and explore the island more, but we had to get back for our lighthouse tour. We headed out on the water at 3:00 and didn’t get back until 8:00. It was a spectacularly clear day and Mt. Rainer even came out to photobomb some of the lighthouses! The locals thanked us for bringing the nice California weather. Here’s a pictorial journey (all taken on my iphone) to all the lighthouses we visited, with 200 other lighthouse enthusiasts.
Washington was playing Stanford on Saturday night football (we’re all football fans), so we headed to a quintessential sports bar, Buckley’s in Belltown, to cheer along with the locals! Perfect place for basic bar food….onion rings, wings, etc…
We were up at 4 to catch our 6am flight back home…but were rewarded with a beautiful sunrise as we flew away!
You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!
Motivational Monday…Fall into Gratitude
“…people relish autumn days precisely because they’re reminders of how much we cannot afford to take for granted, and how much there is to celebrate right now…
Every year, autumn sings the same tune, but
to a different audience.” ….Pico Iyer
