Happiness Advantage… Principle #1…Positive Mindset

Sorry for the delay in getting back to Shawn Achor’s book, The Happiness Advantage.  Let’s get to it….Principle #1…Positive Mindset/retraining your brain to be positive.

“Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades”…Barbara Frederickson

Historically it was thought that once your brain reached it maximum capacity at the age of adolescence that was it…you can’t change the size or shape of the brain.  In reality, scientists have now discovered that your brain is pliable/malleable.  By adjusting our thoughts and the way we live our life we can capitalize on our brains ability to change and therefore exact a positive outcome for your life.  That is some heavy stuff!!

There was…and still is to many…a myth that success=happiness, when in reality scientist now know that happiness=success.  Sure, you can strive for monetary success and be miserable throughout the entire process without every achieving true happiness….OR…you can train your brain to be happier and success will follow. Studies & research have shown that positive thinking can lead to greater success and a longer life.  One such study showed by testing the happiness scale of college freshman they can predict how high their income would be 19 years later….whaaat! There was even one study that measured people’s happiness (assuming with a questionnaire of some sort) and then injected the participants with the cold virus.  A week later those that were happier to begin with fought off the cold much better, with less symptoms, inflammation and duration than the less happy participants. Barbara Fredrickson’s studies show that when people experience positive emotions their minds open up to new possibilities and ideas…and on the flip side, negative emotions can constrict your mind, focusing on anxiety, fear, etc.  Merely thinking positive thoughts before a test yielded better scores and even the unusual experiment of giving people candy, without even eating it, before a test resulted in quicker answers and therefore a competitive edge.

Achor says that, sure, obviously it comes more naturally to some, but happiness is not just a mood, but a work ethic!  Scientists have proven that we have more control over our emotional well being than previously thought.  So how do you do that!?  Some proven ways to improve your mood and raise your level of happiness are…

  • engaging in activities that bring you pleasure…it’s different for everyone (cleaning, listening to favorite songs…or singing them etc..)
  • meditation is one of the most powerful ways to improve your mood…and I can attest to that!!
  • find something to look forward to…for me it’s travel and spending time with my kids/family, but sometimes it’s just knowing that I’ll see a beautiful sunrise at rowing in the morning.  Anticipation is a powerful emotion.
  • commit conscious acts of kindness & giving…it should be deliberate, not “oh, yeah I opened the door for that person earlier today” but buying a cup of coffee for the car in line behind you at the drive-thru Starbucks…and we’ve all seen those “free hugs” people around…doing something with no strings attached
  • infusing positivity into your surroundings…pictures of family or a beautiful scene at your desk?
  • exercise…long lasting and proven mood booster
  • spend money on experiences, not things..or on gifts for others…so true!
  • exercise a signature strength…maybe you’re a good cook, or baker.. or maybe you give good advice.  whatever it is just do it and you will be rewarded with the positive feeling you get.

By consciously practicing the above you can raise your baseline happiness, the emotional place you return to after negative and even positive events.  Both don’t last, but your baseline is what’s important and what you want to be your equilibrium.

Practice, practice, practice and it will become your reality!

this made me very happy this past weekend :o)

 You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Motivational Monday…we are linked

“For in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children’s futures, and we are all mortal.”…JFK

I had the privilege of attending the ceremony and fabulous celebration this past weekend of my niece becoming a bat-mitzvah.  She had this quote in her very eloquent speech and I thought I’d share the wisdom she imparted.  Thanks Julia!

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cousins

 You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

kondoed…the kon mari way

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This is just a couple of drawers…there were many more to follow!

I had a week off for Spring break and I was determined to finish moving everything back to the master bedroom….but I didn’t want to hapharzardly just transfer my clothes from one closet to the other without doing some organizing of things.  I’ve read a bit of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo and also watched a few of her youtube videos. Her method has you organizing and de-cluttering by category, not by room…so it’s all of your clothes, or all of your books, etc…  I knew it would take some time, but I wanted to do it right the first time….so I started the process early Saturday morning….

…it pretty much took all day and early evening, but I got rid, and thanked, a lot of clothes.  Okay, I didn’t really thank all of them…after awhile I just threw them in the garage sale bag! It was a very cathartic experience and the results were awesome! Here’s how it turned out!

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rowing clothes all organized!

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sweaters are so much easier to see now…those crumpled items in the 2nd cubby up on the left are supposed to be wrinkled…that’s what makes them funky & unique!
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I donated a BUNCH of scarves…these are my favorites!
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I love this way of displaying funky, fun jewelry…it’s an old rake head…gotta love PINTEREST!
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I DID NOT thank this piece of clothing, but I did keep it, since it’s a necessary garment at my age….Okay, I guess I do thank it for making me look a bit less lumpy!!
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I ended up donating 5+ bags to our neighborhood garage sale…which is this Saturday for those of you interested.

As I said, a very cathartic and joyful experience and the results just made me sigh with pleasure and relief.  Let’s hope I can keep it all that organized…and not add a bunch of clutter.

This was just my clothes, but I’m looking forward to going through files & books and purging. I’d highly recommend it…or you might want to just read this funny view on the subject!

…and if you don’t feel like doing it yourself, you can hire my friend Kelly to do it for you…her email is iorganizeyou@sbcglobal.net,  

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Motivational Monday…Orderliness

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When we clear the physical clutter from our lives, we literally
make way for inspiration and ‘good, orderly direction’ to enter.  ….Julia Cameron

I Kondoed my clothes this past weekend…so freeing!  Pics & post coming up this week!

 You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Motivation Monday…Spring has sprung!

The Earth Laughs in Flowers….and my side yard is bursting!
Where flowers bloom so does hope.

Happy Monday…make it a good week!

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Surprise! ….Endive Parmesan Appetizer….and race weekend!

I’M MOVING AGAIN….and pregnant…okay, let’s just get that April’s fool joke out of the way right now!

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Perfect for the Easter bunny!

My friend, Tara, brought this appetizer to a party a few years back and everyone loved it! I’ve made it numerous times since.   It’s always such a crowd pleaser…and everyone asks for the recipe.  So…here you go!!

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Endive Parmesan Appetizer

1 garlic clove minced
1/2 tsp salt
1 TBS mayo
2 TBS lemon juice
2 TBS olive oil
1/4 lb. parmesan cheese chopped into small pieces
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1 cup pecans….I buy the “pieces” (you can also use walnuts…or maybe even pine nuts?)
2 to 3 Belgian endive, separated into leaves

Toast the pecans until pretty dark.  Whisk together the garlic, salt, mayo, lemon juice in a bowl.  Toss in the parmesan, celery and pecans (I like to do it when the pecans are still a little warm because it melts the cheese a little bit)…and mix thoroughly. Spoon mixture onto endive leaves and arrange on a platter.  Enjoy!

This makes a lot of appetizers.  I doubled it for Easter last weekend, using two endive, for approximately 25-ish people and there was way more filling than endive and it filled a large platter.  One recipe is plenty!

  • NOTES…
    ….my store didn’t have endive once, so I used butter lettuce and just put the bowl of filling in the middle of the platter and everyone made their own lettuce cups…less work!
    ….my son & daughter-in-law made it for an apple-themed dinner party and substituted apples for the celery and said it was awesome..the perfect blend of sweet and savory!

Bon Appetit!

This weekend is the San Diego Crew Classic, the largest regatta for primarily 8-oared shells and my team is entered in three women’s masters races.  I’m looking so forward to coxing for all three boats, and the beautiful weekend ahead with amazing women.  To my team-mates who read this blog (…and a tribute to my Canadian friend, Tara)….and if you’re just like being inspired, this is all it takes…inches!

Let’s do this girls!

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You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Motivational Monday…age is just a number

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In itself age doesn’t make anyone better or worse, but only accentuates that what has always been…from The Japanese Lover by Isabel Allende

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!

Happiness!

I’ll bet you didn’t know that this past Sunday was International Day of Happiness?!  …and that, in a recent poll, the happiest country in the world is Denmark….which makes my planned trip there in September even more appealing!

My friend Maggie, whose on my rowing team, knows how much I love positive daily affirmations and just making life the best it can be.  She told me I needed to read Shawn Achor’s book, The Happiness Advantage, and let me borrow it.  I had seen his Ted talk, so I was familiar with him, but had never explored the entire book….and WOW, am I glad I did!!  I loved it so much that I downloaded my own copy from Audible and have listened to it a couple of times.  It’s not just a feel good, “don’t worry, be happy” book.  It’s like a text book for a class that teaches you the science behind happiness and how to implement it in your daily life.  It seems frivolous, unrealistic and to some even insulting to tell people “just buck up and be happy.”  The thing that sets this book apart is the in depth science that Achor goes into to explain and teach why it’s just better, more productive and healthier to be happy.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to go through Shawn’s book and synopsize the chapters or key points of the 7 Principles of Positive Psychology that I feel are compelling and important and hopefully will help you.  This is in no way a substitute for the entire book and I would encourage you to buy the book or download it on audible and listen to it while you’re driving…or walking/whatever..it’s pretty fascinating.

So, as a teaser I’ll just let you know that at the beginning of the book he outlines the 7 Principles of Success/Positive Psychology, and then goes back in depth in the subsequent chapters to elaborate.  They are….

  • Positive Mindset…retraining your brain to be positive
  • The Fulcrum and the Lever
  • The Tetris Effect
  • Falling Up
  • The Zorro Circle
  • The 20 Second Rule
  • Social Investment

Stay tuned and I hope you’ll join me on this scientific discovery of happiness.  It’s worth re-visiting over and over!

You cannot direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails!